Fruit of the Loom
by colourmebeautiful
Summary: The Doctor finds himself puzzled by a discarded fruit stone. Will he ever find out what he wants to know? And will he end up getting hit over the head with a satsuma by a very irritated Martha? Bit of fun, 10Martha, R&R no flames :D
1. Stone of TARDIS

A/N: I'm not too sure about this one, but really its just a bit of fun to distract me from my GCSEs (over on Friday! Wooo! ** dances **)

Anyway, if you like it, REVIEWWWWWW! They make me feel ridiculously happy:D. Anyway, this will probably end up two or three chapters if anyone actually likes it! (cough, review, cough). No flames please :p

Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. Not me. Honest.

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The Doctor sat back, an old fruit stone hanging between his teeth. He rested his feet on the console, took off his glasses, shut his eyes and licked. His tongue traced gently over the stone, then turned it over and did the same on the over side. A faint taste washed over his tongue, weak yet somehow sharp. He reached a hand to his mouth and removed the stone. He placed it carefully on a small dish on the console, and took out his glasses. He shoved them on quickly, then bent forward.

He stared hard at the stone, scrunching his forehead up in concentration. He stuck a finger out and stroked the stone curiously. He then picked it up, and turned it around in his fingers, moving his head from side to side. Incredible. The edges were ragged, yet the stone itself was smooth. His tongue ran over his teeth in thought.

"Martha?" he called. Silence. "Martha?" he called again, louder this time. He took off his glasses, and got off the chair. "Martha?! Marthaaaaaa!" he called, walking through the TARDIS corridor. He twisted round, towards the bedroom wing, and met Martha. Her hair was dripping wet, she was wrapped only in a towel, her mascara was touching her lip and she had a very angry look in her (mascara-less) eyes.

"What?" Her teeth were clenched in the manner of a mother who's been pestered relentlessly by her children. "What do you want?" The Doctor stared at her guiltily.

"Um.."

"Is something wrong with the TARDIS, Doctor?" She said through her teeth.

"Err, not exactly, no." He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Distress signal?" Her patience was really beginning to wear thin.

"No.." He twisted his fingers behind his back.

"What then?" She stared at him with a look that could break iron. The Doctor chewed his lip for a moment, before opening his mouth, then quickly shutting it again.

"Oh, God, Doctor. Its not something to do with fruit _again_ is it?"

"It may be. But really Martha – " he added as she turned away and started walking angrily back to her bedroom "- its very puzzling and –"

Martha flipped round quickly. "Oh, its _puzzling_ is it? Like that mark on the banana was _puzzling._ And the colour of your mango was _mind boggling._ Doctor, I'm tired, covered in flipping Atrolleon goo, and I've had it up to here –" she held her hand to her collarbone "- with your obsession with bloody fruit!" She turned away and stalked off.

"Only soft fruit.." he said quietly, not daring enough to enrage the tired human girl again.

"I heard that!" She called. The Doctor sighed and turned back towards the console room.

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He sat back down, and picked up the stone again. How could something so _simple_ confuse him? Surely he hadn't eaten _that_ much fruit lately that he couldn't distinguish one fruit stone from another? Then it came to him: the fruit room!

A/N: TBC? Tell me what you think, thanks. Xc-m-bX


	2. Unwelcome Changes

A/N: Chapter 2. This is getting less about the fruit and more about the randomness of a 900 year time lord. Don't forget to review:D

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The Doctor walked through the corridor, his feet beginning to ache. Really, it was time he sorted out the rooms in this thing. Why did he have the sonic room so close to the console room? The fruit room was far too far away. He was getting tired of having to walk for miles every time he had a question about fruit. No, the important rooms deserved to be nearer him at all times.

He finally reached the blessed room. The door was like every other door on the TARDIS: brown with a smart gold handle. He twisted the handle, and stepped inside. As soon as he entered, he let out a sigh of pure happiness.

The walls were covered in long shelves, each wooden structure touching both ends. Several shelves were covered in large, dusty books that looked untouched. The Doctor walked over to this shelf and stared at their spines for a moment. With a small yelp of victory, he grabbed a book down and ran out of the room.

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Martha shook her hair dry, water hitting a pile of books that were spread out on her bedside table. She cursed, and went to pick them up to inspect the damage. "Ancient Medicines" wasn't too badly damaged, but "Caring for the elderly" was soaked. She sighed. The Doctor could never control the amount of water that came out of the TARDIS showers.

Thinking of the Doctor, she decided she should go and apologise for her rudeness. It was a scenario that had taken place many times before: he'd interrupt her activities to ask her some stupid question about a papaya, she'd shout at him, stalk off and leave him confused and still none the wiser about the papaya.

She walked out of the door, and trotted down the corridor. She turned off to the console room only to walk smack bang into a door.

"What the hell? That's not normally there.." She said weakly, rubbing her nose irritably. "Oh, God. Doctor! Doctor, where are you?" She called, trying to hide her anger. "What have you done to the TARDIS?"

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The Doctor quickly tapped some buttons on the console to change the order of the rooms. A lesser TARDIS would refuse point blank, and then take her owner to some god forsaken place like Kreynon, or Grimsby. But not the Doctor's TARDIS. 900 years of time travel enforce trust in even the wildest of ships.

After fiddling with the TARDIS's layout, the Doctor settled down into a chair, placed the stone in front of him, and opened his book. He studied the stone's texture, shape, size, and taste intently. Every so often, he'd flick to the index and search another characteristics, all to no joy.

He was just looking up "pointy bit at the top" when he heard a shout. Uh oh. Looked like Martha had noticed the room change.

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"Doctor" Martha growled "humans like to be _informed_ when the layout of their home is about to be changed. We don't like walking out of our room, walking to where we think is the console room only to find a flipping _door_ where there should normally be a bloody alien reading about _fruit!_" She gestured towards the book that lay open on the console.

"Hey! Sometimes I read about vegetables, and _sometimes - _Martha?"

"What?"

"You didn't..open the door, did you?"

"No. Why?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Err..no reason. What's that mark on your nose?" He reached out his finger and flicked it. Martha batted his hand away.

"Clumsy me, I just happened to walk into a door, Doctor. Change it back. Now." She narrowed her eyes and tapped her foot on the floor, a trick she'd learned from a particularly fierce matron that always came in handy when dealing with porters.

"Errr, I can't."

"What do you mean you _can't?"_

"Well, the TARDIS only lets me do it once every few years, and even that's pushing it a bit, really. Normally they don't change at all. Very set in their ways. It took me almost 40 years to get her to change her interior. Really, she only did it because I kept moaning at her when it took me an hour to get to the fruit room – " he stopped when he saw Martha's face.

"You changed the layout of the ship – and made me practically break my _nose_ – just so your bloody _fruit room_ was nearer to you?" The Doctor looked down at his shoes.

"Look, I have blisters from walking there, Martha. Actual blisters! D'you want to see them?" He made to take his shoe off, and Martha sighed.

"No, Doctor, I don't want to see your blisters, surprisingly..Look, can you at least teach me how to get back to my room?"

"Fine. You just go through here.." He walked into the corridor off the console room. "Then you turn left.." His pace increased, and Martha had to practically run to keep up with him. "Then you turn right and – Oof!"

The Doctor fell backwards onto Martha, and Martha fell sideways into a door. The door opened, and Martha fell inside.

"Oh. My. God. Doctor? What is _wrong_ with you?"

A/N: Hope you like it, more when I feel like it lol! Reviewwwwwwwwww!


	3. Martha Jones: Button Defence

A/n: Thanks for your reviews! Keep them coming!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as always.

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Martha gazed in horror around the room. Every inch of wall space was covered in shelves, pictures, glass display boxes. It was incredible. On the shelves were hundreds of books, organized by colour, naturally, all with one thing in common.

They were all about fruit.

Each flawless display box contained some variety of fruit, carefully labelled with the type of fruit, and the place and date of purchase. The sheer amount of effort that had gone into the creation of this room was astounding. Martha turned to the Doctor, who had a sheepish look plastered on his face.

"How long have you had this hidden away, then?" Martha asked, one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"Not long. Only since I left Donna, really."

"Who the hell's Donna?"

"She just turned up in the TARDIS one day. Out of nowhere. She wasn't here long. She came straight after I'd finished saying goodbye to Rose. After all that, I had about a year by myself, just thinking."

"So you..built a fruit room. You could of created new theories to help mankind, but, instead, you created a shrine to fruit."

"Well, why should I waste my time helping you apes when you just cock everything up?" Martha crossed her arms and tapped her foot in distaste to the Doctor's statement. "Err, I mean, I just really..er..like fruit." He smiled nervously.

Martha walked up to the boxes, and read the dates. "But Doctor, you've had some of this stuff for months. How hasn't it rotted?"

"Special Time Lord method of preservation. Very complicated, you wouldn't understand."

Martha touched the box lightly, and pulled it away quickly.

"Its freezing cold. You're telling me about this big, complicated thing when really, you just have some freezers that haven't frozen up?"

"Err, it's a bit more complicated than that, actually.."

"It isn't, is it?"

"Um, no, not really."

"How many rooms does this thing have anyway? Enough to waste away on silly little things I suppose.."

"Honestly, Martha, you have such a selective mind. I like things you find "silly". Surely you have something _you_ think is perfectly ordinary and interesting, but everyone else finds it bizarre and extremely dull?"

"Buttons are **not** dull!" Martha blurted out, before clapping a hand over her mouth. The Doctor laughed loudly, much to Martha's annoyance.

"You..collect..BUTTONS!" He said, spluttering with laughter.

"Oh, go eat a papaya." Martha folded her arms, and walked out of the door, muttering something about how buttons were actually very interesting when you got to know them.


End file.
